“Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Once in a lullaby
Oh, somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Dreams really do come true, ooh-ooh
Someday I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops, that's where
You'll find me
Oh, somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly
And the dream that you dare to
Oh, why, oh, why can't I?
Well, I see trees of green and
Red roses too
I'll watch them bloom for
Me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world
Well, I see skies of blue and I see
Clouds of white
And the brightness of day
Highlight the dark
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world
The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, "How do you do?"
They're really saying, "I, I love you"
I hear babies cry and I watch them grow
They'll learn much more
Than we'll know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world, world
Someday I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney top, that's where
You'll find me
Oh, somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dream that you dare to
Why, oh, why can't I?
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh
Ooh, ah-ah, yeah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah, ah”
“Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World”, Harold Arlen and Yip Harbor/Bob Thiele and George David Weiss (my favorite version of both of these songs is this mash-up by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole) {listen here}
I am not a fan of The Wizard of Oz. I wasn’t as a child and I still don’t like the story much at all. But I have always loved the lyrics and melody of Over the Rainbow — especially the version linked above. In fact, the song above is the song that played at our wedding while my dad walked me down the aisle almost fifteen years ago.
“Over the rainbow” started taking on extra meaning for me in the last handful of years as our sweet Ollie kept celebrating birthdays and getting older. I realized each additional year with him was really such an extra blessing and I started to connect the song to a poem about losing pets, The Rainbow Bridge.
We said our final goodbye to Ollie and let him go on April 5, 2024. So our sweet boy is waiting for us at the Rainbow Bridge.
Bringing Ollie into my home and into my life — and being entrusted with his care — was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made (third only to surrendering my life and heart to Jesus and marrying the man I married)!
Having Ollie in our world as a consistent and almost ever-present someone — even though we knew he wasn’t meant to live forever and that he wouldn’t live forever —was such a privilege! And even in losing him, my reward definitely outweighed the heartache and hurt. Even knowing we’d have to make a decision at some point, our time with him was all absolutely worth it. Every single second!
We know that our decision to say goodbye to Ollie when we did was right and kind, that it was time, and that he is no longer in pain or hurting. And I would do it all again.
But I’m just so sad. Heartbroken, really. My mind and my heart are heavy. Even my body seems to be grieving — I am tired and sluggish and I catch myself teary-eyed or all-out crying at random times.
Ollie was my first dog. I did grow up with dogs — my family got our first dog when I was in fifth grade, and we got our second when I was starting my senior year of high school. But Ollie was all my own. He was born on January 17, 2008. He started his life being called “Terry” and was the runt of his litter. But I named him Oliver, and he has always been Ollie. Unless we called him by one of his many nicknames: Peanut, Biscuit, Ollie-man, OJ, Bear, and even Ricky Jean François.
Ollie kept me company while I finished graduate school — he stayed by my side while I studied for comprehensive exams, analyzed research, and wrote my thesis. And what a friend he was! We took such great care of each other and I loved (love) that little Peanut with so much of my heart!
I could have brought him home in mid-March of 2008, but since I was in the middle of my second semester of school, I made arrangements to pick him up on April 30 — the day after my semester ended. My dad and I flew to Philadelphia, rented a car, and drove to Denver, PA. Ollie was so sweet and immediately settled into my arms for the ride. Though he did drool on me the entire time, soaking the sweater I wore. I think about that first day often — he experienced so many new things and while he was quiet, he never expressed displeasure. April 30, 2008 was Ollie’s first ride in a car, his first ride in an airplane, his first time doing his business in the grass instead of on paper, and his first night sleeping alone in a crate — he must have been so confused. All I remember, though, is his happiness at seeing me and being near me.
From that point on, it was me and Ollie.
For almost fourteen months it was just us — until I got married and my husband became Ollie’s, too. And as much as he was ours, we were most definitely his!
From the beginning, Ollie was quiet and chill. He learned quickly and was super-smart, even until the end. He just went with the flow and wanted nothing more than to be where we were — in our laps, in our bed, on our furniture. But half of our photos are of him curled up in a pile of blankets or sleeping on (or near) a pillow.
The last 8-9 months of Ollie’s sweet life were less easy, though, and he was much less easy-going. He got sick multiple times and was eventually diagnosed with canine cognitive dysfunction (dementia) which caused sundowning and such confusion and anxiety on his part. He still wanted to be with us, but he became so much more needy, frustrated, and uncomfortable. His body and his mind started to fail him and it was so hard to watch it all and not know how to help.
But Ollie always was such a trouper. And for the most part, he was healthy and oh, so very happy! For over sixteen years! So I’m working on fixing my heart and mind on these truths, and on all of the good memories and sweet, sweet times we had with him. Because right now it’s all still so fresh and all I can seem to think about is his pain, frustration, fear, and anxiety at the end.
As I always do — not only in hard times — I’ve turned to music. I’ve been finding such solace in the lyrics of the song quoted at the start of this post, and a few lyrics from White Heart’s I’ll Meet You There:
And every moment's best
Still one moment less we spend
Together my friend
I can't hold back these tears in my eyes
This time I won't even try
For time has come and gone
Now we must move on
I'll admit I don't know why
Now we must say good-bye
To find our road ahead
Destiny leads us on to another place
But I'll meet you there someday
I know Jesus didn’t die for animals in the same ways He died for mankind. But I do know that Christ’s death and resurrection also purchased redemption for all that was brought down by humanity’s sin — including animals (Romans 8:21-23). And I know God created animals and put His love and affection for them in our hearts.
I also know that He is in the business of making all things new — the earth and all things in it. So maybe I will see Ollie again someday. Maybe he is waiting for us at the Rainbow Bridge and I’ll meet him there. If it would make me happy to have Ollie restored in the New Earth, that may be all the reason my good and gracious Father needs!
If God brings our pets back to life, it wouldn’t surprise me. It would be just like Him. It would be totally in keeping with His generous character. . . Exorbitant. Excessive. Extravagant in grace after grace. Of all the dazzling discoveries and ecstatic pleasures heaven will hold for us, the potential of seeing Scrappy would be pure whimsy—utterly, joyfully, surprisingly superfluous. . . . [The New Earth] is going to be a place that will refract and reflect in as many ways as possible the goodness and joy of our great God, who delights in lavishing love on His children (emphasis mine).
Joni Eareckson Tada, Holiness in Hidden Places
I can’t know what the redeemed Heaven and Earth will look like or who or what will be there until it happens. But I do know that God bottles my tears and that He sees and keeps track of all of my tossings (Psalm 56:8). So when I can’t sleep, when my heart is broken, and when I break down in tears, I know He is near.
And I know that He walks alongside me in all things, even as I learn to live without my sweet Ollie.
What a good Father He is!
P.S. — if you’ve read this far, thank you! And also, I know many of you have come to expect a weekly post on Thursdays and Sundays. Saying goodbye to our sweet puppy is the reason for my being quiet here for the last week or so.
This is a beautiful post, for all of the heartbreak please accept my condolences for your recent loss of Ollie. May his memory be a blessing and I hope you find comfort over the rainbow. Best wishes and take good care.